Misadventures of a 65 year old Woman

Costco Trip

This is an email I sent after I had met my buddy, Joan at Costco for "lunch".  Best hot dogs in town!

Hey Joan,

I had fun yesterday at Costco.  Fast and furious.  Oh, and guess what?  I was wandering around that damn parking lot for a while looking for my truck. I was very hot and still could not spot my vehicle.  Then I remembered that all I needed to do would be to set off the alarm so I did and I could hear the horn beeping.  Still beeping and wailing...and ....lord, it seemed that I couldn't turn the damn thing off.  As I approached,  I realized that it was not my truck making all the racket. It was a nice Toyota Tundra pickup, but not my pickup.   I pushed my alarm button again and almost had a heart attack since it was about 2 vehicles over.  I walked over to it and there was this elderly

gentleman in a wheelchair with his wife.  She was pissed.  I had scared her husband horribly with all the beeping.  As his wife patted his shoulder and they he yelled at me, "What the hell are you doing?" He "rolled" away almost running over my foot. Plus..... 

Scene II -Act IV:  The little dorky security guard in his 3 wheeler, top speed 5 miles an hour, pulls up just as I was about to go for it with the old man and take him down.  Turns out, the Tundra truck driver had pushed his alarm button accidentally to add to the racket.

Me?....I had pushed the "Open your stupid doors" button about 80 times.  

Anyway, so glad they have surveillance cameras in that parking lot as I am sure someone will make some money on YouTube with that little confrontation. Oh and yes, I flipped off the old man, his nasty wife and the security guard on his tricycle.  

So Joan, you can tell all your friends about this idiot you have for a friend who almost beat up this

old man in a wheelchair in the Costco parking lot and almost decked the security guard in 103 degree weather in Texas.

Hint to friend:  Don't ever leave me unattended in the parking lot again!! 

When I got home I decided to "label" my alarm button.  Not pretty. It says:  "Don't Touch, Stupid"